So I'm watching Smallville and Lana and Clark find a mysterious baby in a crater and discover that he ages in iridescent spurts - straight from infant to seven years old. Guess who plays the seven-year-old?

SAM WINCHESTER.

Well, Colin Ford, actually, but. I saw the kid and went, no way. No way. But I looked him up, and lo, it was true.

This game is too much fun. :D

Slept for about 13 hours total last night, half in the recliner in the family room, half in my own bed. I'm apparently sweating again, so I guess my internal temp regulation's back online, and my nausea's pretty much gone.

I do, however, have a sore throat and some minor sinus congestion. Obviously this is small potatoes compared with yesterday, and it should go away soon. I'm taking today to lump around, because I still feel like a lump, and hopefully tomorrow everything will be more or less under control, since I have to work in the evening.

In the latter part of my sleep this morning I had a bizarre stress-dream - which is weird, because I'm not stressing out over anything right now. But I dreamed there was some kind of band festival on and both U of A and U of C were playing multiple times and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be playing with U of C and no one was telling me anything. Clearly this was a remix of the Cantando Festival a few years back, in which I actually did play with both ensembles, but why it should resurface now is beyond me.

The earlier parts of my dream were almost weirder, though, because I had three or four guys give me their numbers, out of the blue (and unfortunately none of them was particularly attractive or the type of person I would even be interested in getting to know), and some dude let me drive his Mustang. I DON'T EVEN KNOW, OKAY.

Gonna watch some more Smallville and eat soup. I'm on the second last disc of the season.

I may have mentioned this before, but I came to the renewed conclusion today that Smallville is far more bearable/enjoyable if you watch it like a comic book. The effects are shiny, the combat is haphazard, the people are stupidly pretty, the colour saturation oh my gosh is ridiculous, the dialogue is terrible, but the acting is actually really good most of the time, especially considering what they have to work with.

Also, Jensen Ackles, because Season 4. :D

Fever's gone, but I'm still having trouble regulating my body temperature, and I think it's quite possible that I haven't done any sweating at all today. That's a bit troubling. However, I think if I keep hydrated - which I think is going to involve not sleeping for more than, like, an hour at a time, because if I stay warm enough I get nauseated pretty quickly - I shouldn't be in too much trouble. Here's hoping.

Fabulous. I got off easy last week, this I know; didn't end up with anything more than a mild fever and some cramps and slight nausea.

So then I go to bed last night and cannot get warm. Seriously, I think I lay there shaking, full-bodied, for a couple of hours at least. Or maybe it just seemed that long. Anyway, I didn't sleep.

( Fever details, if you feel like knowing them. )

I looked for a thermometer last week when Mom wanted it, but I couldn't find one; I know we have one, but I have no idea where it is. Be nice to know exactly how high my fever is, but I'm still thinking straight, so I'm pretty sure it's not dangerous. Just... uncomfortable.

Good thing I don't have to work until Wednesday.

Jensen Ackles singing at the 100th episode party:




How he pulls off being a total dork and at the same time completely, utterly awesome is beyond me. Man has incredible style.

Better.

Still planning to spend most of today on the couch.

Called DQ to tell Cam my schedule restrictions for next week; back in the day, the scheduling was done on Wednesdays, but when I came back in the summer I found that it usually wasn't done until late Thursday, so my window to submit days I wanted off was extended.

I've been cutting it a bit fine the last few weeks. So I call this morning; Cam answers. After standard pleasantries, it goes like this:

Me: Schedule done yet?
Cam: Nope, just waitin' on you.

...

Apparently I've established a pattern.

Last week, I forgot to book off a performance and he rewrote the schedule for me. My boss is AWESOME.

...of course there's Bruno/Boots fic.

*headdesk*

Don't even ask.

Title: So Help Me
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 161
Disclaimer: Blame Eric Kripke. They're not mine.
Notes: This kind of just popped into my head this afternoon in a kernel, and I wasn't going to write it out, but then I decided I needed the practice and the way to get it is to write the things that pop into your head before you forget them. So here it is. I don't know if what I wanted to say comes through clearly at the end, but in my head, this is a really sweet conversation. :P

( So Help Me )

Just realised that I've chewed right through the soft part of my mouth guard. No wonder it's been a little uncomfortable lately.

...

I need a new chew toy.

How pathetic is that?

Also, those things are freaking expensive, yo.

Two shows today. Indi the parrot was all wound up by the second show, and she likes to dance... I was cracking up for a little bit, then decided that I was overtired and it really wasn't that funny. But the way a bird can swoop its head around, back and forth, and then just stop on a dime like there's no momentum involved at all - and I guess there probably isn't much, the way a bird's put together - is pretty entertaining.

My mother and brother are coming to the show tomorrow afternoon. I think they will like it. Honestly, the show is worth it for Captain Hook alone. Everything else is just gravy. Really excellent gravy. :P The pirates are consistently getting the most applause, by the way.

I used to not like blackberries, because they taste like soap - even the blackberry Jelly Bellies taste like soap - but then I discovered the Costco mixed berries, and all was well with the world, and apparently I love blackberries. Except that, today, for some reason, my blackberries are tasting like soap. I don't understand, and it is distressing.

Opening night! Could have been better, but no catastrophes, and the audience loved it. Especially the pirates and the flying. :D

The parrot, who belongs to one of our flautists and has been hanging out in her cage down in the orchestra pit the last few rehearsals to get her used to the noise and whatnot, was onstage tonight for the first time. She wasn't loose - that would have taken more planning and behavioural training than were possible - but she was in a cage on the pirate ship. And she hated it, I think. :( She was all kinds of grouchy after the show, when Ken went to get her out of the cage and back into the kennel he brought her in. After much resistance on her part, he finally manhandled her out of there - and I have to admit it's kind of funny watching somebody try to manhandle a parrot out of a cage it's determined not to leave - and had to cuddle her for a while before she'd settle, poor girl. I hope she gets used to it.

Two shows tomorrow. Ow, my face. :P Should be okay, though, I think.

And here, have an awesome video:



The cutting is superb. It's completely ridiculous, yet awesome at the same time. :D

Had another voice lesson/meltdown this afternoon. I think that's three for three in recent memory.

I was able to explain my situation a little more fully this time, though, and I think my mother gets it. Having forced myself to put it in words in the midst of a more or less hysterical episode, I understand it a little more clearly, too. I think probably most people don't get emotional about technical things, but when something works, it's so exciting that I have to work hard not to sabotage it by reacting to the emotion. Half the time I sabotage it anyway by clamping down on the reaction to the point where it manifests physically. So I need to get control over that, and then I need to get control over the emotions elicited by the song itself, so in a lesson, I'm on pretty volatile ground by definition, you know? Mom gets that. And she's really incredibly patient with me; I can't be easy to deal with.

She also reminded me that I'm making ridiculous progress and I can't expect the little muscles to do what they need to just because I decide they should. It's going to take a little more time. I'm hopeful, though. I really think I'll be able to pull this off.

In other news, two and a half weeks until Kyle, Calgary, Kat, Erica, Sam and Lauren. :D And my shoes should be in next week.

01) Composed in my half-slumber again the other night. So incredibly frustrating. There was harp and maybe oboe and strings and it was beautiful and minor and almost modal. I tried to commit the melody to memory, and I think I succeeded, at least partially (gone now, regardless), but the orchestration was what made it, and that's hopelessly gone. Why can't I orchestrate beautifully when I'm awake?

02) Why do my dreams have soundtracks? Do yours ever have soundtracks?

03) I am burningly jealous of the Peter Pan leads. They get to fly.

04) Had another breakdown in my voice lesson earlier. So grateful that it's my mother and she'll put up with this crap. We had a good technical discussion afterward, though. Apparently I need more detail and expect to get things right sooner than pretty much all the rest of her students. Good to know, for both of us. And my horn background is showing; I need different imagery. "Blow" is not a useful instruction when I'm trying to figure out how to regulate my air expulsion without either undersinging or overburdening my larynx. And I need to stop trying to perfect functional structures before even putting sound through, and just sing, because I can't figure out how to fix a problem if I don't let myself even get to the problem.

05) I fail at point form.

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I think you're spectacular. Then repost this [if you like] and spread the love.

Worked with Mat and Tya again. Always a good time. Ended up singing to them, because The Black Swan is too good not to share and it was not a busy shift.

Speaking of The Black Swan, I had a rehearsal with my accompanist yesterday for all my Festival songs, and spent the latter half of the bus ride home figuring out the headspace for that aria. Ended up crying on the bus. Good thing there was almost no one else on it. If you let it really get to you it's the most tragic thing ever. I figured out how the emotions have to develop; the problem is going to be getting together the technical ability to pull it off properly. I've been longing to sing this for years, though, and I'm determined to do it right. I have a couple of months. I can do it.

One of the Peter Pan flautists, who's a really excellent serious musician - though kind of a ditz, but don't say I told you - is having a recital in May, and he wants to program a piece for flute, viola, horn and piano. He asked me to be the horn. I am so excited. :D I don't even have a clue what it sounds like, but with that instrumentation, how can you go wrong? He's going to bring me music and a recording tomorrow.

Opening night in less than a week! We rehearse Mon-Tues-Wed., then Thursday is free (I work, though) and Friday we open. Two shows Saturday, because of the matinee, then Monday and Tuesday are dark, and then we run again Wednesday through Saturday - with, again, two shows on Saturday. And then it's done. I think it's actually going to be really good, after all. I'm kind of excited.

First Point: I have not seen Watchmen, but I have read the graphic novel.

Second Point: My first and only exposure to Jeffrey Dean Morgan was through Supernatural.

Third Point: JDM is awesome.

Fourth Point: I have just had it pointed out to me that JDM played The Comedian.

Summation: My brain, it is broken.

discreet, adj. - 1 : having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech : prudent; especially : capable of preserving prudent silence

discrete, adj. - 1 : constituting a separate entity : individually distinct (several discrete sections)
2 a : consisting of distinct or unconnected elements : noncontinuous b : taking on or having a finite or countably infinite number of values (discrete probabilities) (a discrete random variable)

Not interchangeable. Please. Thank you.

So Isaac bought DDR for his Wii, because my dance pad broke a few weeks ago and apparently he can't do without his DDR.

It's pretty cool, and the down arrow works and the pad doesn't slide as badly on the carpet as mine, but we both agree that the voiceover dude is not nearly as into it as the dude on mine, and this new game doesn't have a pirate character.

Isaac has picked the character U1, pronounced "Yuichi" (because yeah, U-ichi, get it? :D) because of his awesome name. However, U1 is pretty androgynous. "He looks like a girl," said Isaac discontentedly, then paused in the act of pushing his curly blond ponytail over his shoulder: "...oh. Right." I laughed. Hard. And then applauded.

AND NOW HE'S ENABLED MII BACKUP DANCERS AND IT IS EPIC HILARITY. This is going to be good times.


ADDENDUM: He's in tournament mode and just started regional quarter finals and he's TAUNTING HIS OPPONENTS OMG XD

It's occurred to me to wonder why I never seem to see the bad side of people. I mean, I always assume that it's because I'm that naive, but, I mean, I'm not that naive.

And I don't mean that I'm not critical. I'm super-critical, actually, more than maybe you think. But I tend to simultaneously... I don't know, assume the worst and hope for the best? Like, I take into account possible negative motivations/actions, but I presume that nobody's actually got the motivations I can imagine. But what I mean right now is kind of a different thing.

A good example of what I mean, and the situation that caused me to start analysing all of this, is my job. I keep hearing about how flaky so-and-so is, or how this person's always slacking, or how this other person's always mouthing off, or this one girl abusing her limited authority, or this other girl coming in hungover or stoned, and I'll be listening and going, seriously? I have never witnessed this behaviour.

And I don't know exactly what that means, that people don't behave that way around me. There are two possibilities, as I see it. The first option is that they know I'll defend them based on what I've personally witnessed, so they don't act like idiots where I can see it. The second option is that they don't act like idiots around me because they like or respect (or fear, but that seems too implausible) me too much.

I guess it could be some combination of the two. I'm just not sure what to think. It's come up in conversation more than once, with co-workers and my supervisor, and there seems to be a general awareness that people act better when I'm around. I don't get it.

*

On a completely different topic, the decline of the album as an art form is distressing to me. I know that people have always skipped tracks they don't like, and whatnot, and with the current technology, it's easier than ever to be choosy about what exactly you listen to, when. Or else not choosy at all. Custom playlists, libraries on shuffle. I myself am currently running through my iTunes alphabetically by artist. I don't say it's necessarily a bad thing. But I believe there's value in a musical structure that is bigger than just a song. I expect Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes to follow Gumboots. I anticipate the opening of Sad Lisa after Wild World. It isn't that a song can't stand on its own, but rather that it can be more in conjunction with other songs. I'm probably preaching to the converted, largely, but a well-structured album is really a beautiful thing, and I feel like an increasing number of people can't appreciate that.

It makes me a little sad. I made Tya a mix CD and gave it to her over the weekend, and made her promise to listen to it at least once through in order. She was like, "It has an order?" And I had to explain, well, yes; I know that it'll end up getting put into her iPod and she'll just listen to the songs piecemeal at will, eventually, but I can't hand out a mix that doesn't flow. That was why it took me so long, I explained.

I think she thought it was quaint. Except kids these days don't use the word quaint, so. :P But she did promise.

It's been kind of a frustrating day.

The clothes my parents got me for Christmas were too big, I think I mentioned, so the smaller size came today, and I tried them on, and the trousers and jeans are fabulous and the cowl-neck short-sleeved sweater is perfect, but the long-sleeved sweater and the turtlenecks are still a little big in the body and the sleeves are too short. I feel like I'm some freakish oddly-proportioned object. I think what's going to happen is I'm going to go to Calgary and find a shop for tall people and buy shirts there. And my mother, unexpectedly, came up with an Eddie Bauer long-sleeved t-shirt that's too big on her, and it fits me beautifully and the sleeves are almost long enough, close enough for jazz, so it'll do in the interim.

Then I had a voice lesson.

Don't get me wrong: I'm making progress and it's great. I'm really excited. I know I'm getting it.

The frustrating bit is that I keep slipping back into old control habits and a lot of it is because of the songs I've chosen to learn for the music festival (March).

( cut for somewhat lengthy and slightly technical discussion of my emotional/musical links and how they're a pain )

Pretty much, I'm a giant child, is what it boils down to. I'm kind of sick of this.

I think it's the filthy dirty bass. Yeah, I'm still talking about OK Go. I can't stop listening to this album, okay?

I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge my brother-in-law. It was he who introduced my sister to this band, when their first album came out in, what, '02? And of course she immediately passed along the awesome, because she is a fantastic big sister. I remember when their website was pink, y'all.

THANKS, BRETT. :D I also owe you for 883. Yup.